How about this:
You might be a Haydenite if __________
you fill in the blank in the comment section and I'll post the best of them.
like . . .
"you read this blog"
"you warm your chestnuts at your next door neighbor's house fire"
"your favorite past time is reading the EPA air quality meters around the ASARCO Plant"
"your car is worth more than your house."
"your the mayor, don't have a job and still live with your parents."